The Spotlight effect. At the center of our world is ourselves. No one sees the world the way you do. However, how they see us also affects how we see ourselves. Often being focused on ourselves we overestimate our place in the lives of others. 

The Spotlight effect means that we tend to see ourselves at the center of the stage, and for that reason we over estimate just how important we are and how much others pay attention to us. 

For example: I have often been walking down the sidewalk when I catch my shoe on a crack in the pavement, I stubble and in my effort to regain my balance I look like one of those inflatable cartoon characters that are filled with arm flopping around and waving my arms. The first thing I do, and if you would be honest about it you do too, is I act as though no one saw me. The reality is that fewer people notice than we presume. 

We are so in tune with our own emotions that we believe others are also in tune with our emotions. This is known as an illusion of transparency. For example: If we are happy and we know it, then our face will surely show it and others will notice, right the visibility of t? Wrong! 

We overestimate the visibility of our social blunders and public mental slips. 

So, do you live in a Spotlight? Are you aware of how other people in your life live in their Spotlight? 

“As these examples suggest, the traffic between ourselves and other runs both ways. Our ideas and feelings about ourselves affect how we interpret events, how we recall them, and how we respond to others. Others, in turn, help shape our sense of self." - David Myers. 

We were created to be in relationships. Period. We are our brother’s keeper. It is not all about me, it is about us!